Feverish Comfort

dont get me wrong - i dont like having the flu or a sore throat and cold under any circumstance - and i cant pretend that i particularly enjoy that early stage in the life cycle of the flu virus where the razor blades in the throat give way to chills and ache - i hate it, but sometimes also love it - i hate coughing up phlegm - and the way it makes me feel like i am going to throw up - but i do find some comfort in the fever - in feeling cold and warm all at once - i shiver and shake but when i get under a blanket i feel the comfort of the heat - or else im burning up and i put my hand on the cool tile of the bathroom floor or the kitchen sink basin and i feel relief - i hate feeling this way - as i do right now - that i need to gather small comfort from little things such as fluctuating body temperature - or that I will no doubt lose weight because I have no appetite - it's really ridiculous isn't it -

Friday, 3 am
i just woke up in a cold sweat, my t-shirt soaked and the room freezing cold - but i think my fever has broke now - on to the next stage of my sickness -






hooray